The Day of the Zombie Apocalypse
by thefriendlyguy63
Summary: Crack!fic one-shot: more info on that in the author's note. When Steve and Bucky find themselves in a zombie apocalypse, how will they cope? And who is the mysterious man and his companion in the blue box? Set post-Winter Soldier for Captain America and early season 5 for Doctor Who. (Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or Marvel, or any of the characters.)


**A/N:**

**Basically, I wrote this one-shot because my friends (blackrabbitkani and LizzieMellon15) and I are doing a 'Summer Fanfiction Challenge' where we have to write a fanfic over the summer holidays that can be any fandom, with any characters or plot, but has to contain three things. We chose one thing each: a fish with a gold tooth, a Georgian wig complete with insects and one of the characters has to say 'green eggs and ham.' When we've all finished, we're going to read each other's and decide which one's the best. So, this is what I decided to write. Enjoy!**

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"Bucky! Look out!" Steve Rogers yelled as he threw his shield over Bucky's head, landing it in the direct centre of a zombie's chest. Quickly obeying, James Buchanan Barnes ducked and weaved in a dance of sorts, avoiding zombie attacks and Steve's shield and violently whacking zombies with his metal arm until they had time for a break. When the crowds of 'undead' were far enough into the distance, Captain America took a deep breath, rubbed his forehead (he barely broke a sweat after the lengthy and tiresome battle) and assessed the damage in the vicinity. Rotting corpses of people who were supposed to be dead were strewn across the landscape, which was barren and desolate. The pair resided in a valley of fields that continued on for miles in every direction, but with a few paths intertwined with the grass. The most prominent feature of the landscape was a tranquil river that cut through the valley like a silver knife, yet had many twists and turns, the deadly still water reflecting the clear blue sky on its metallic surface. Steve and Bucky had only arrived in the valley a few hours ago on Steve's motorbike, where the zombies had followed them and forced them to retreat to the river. That was a mistake on the zombie's behalf, as the river was almost definitely the best place for the pair to be, as they could wash and drink from it; the water was clear enough.

The zombies themselves had begun spawning twelve hours ago exactly. At the time, Steve had been training in the extraordinarily advanced gym in the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, and Bucky reading silently in the equally impressive library – the ex-Hydra brainwashed agent preferred peace and quiet to the noise and bustle of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s main offices. It had been an ordinary training session for Steve until he heard the piercing screams of agents and smashing glass. Naturally, such sounds greatly concerned the patriotic Avenger, whose duty was to protect the citizens of America, especially the agents who had nursed him back to life after his prolonged sleep in the ice, therefore he dashed upstairs as quickly as possible, but by the time he got to the main offices, the place was completely deserted. No agents working on computers or training in fighting or researching the next bad guy to neutralise – nobody.

As expected, Steve headed to Nick Fury's office, since the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. always knew what to do or what was best, however he was nowhere in sight either. Just when he'd rigorously searched through every office and building on campus and had come to the conclusion that he was completely alone, Steve found Bucky, looking extremely confused yet determined, with a blade in his hand to ward off any intruders, stumbling around outside the library. Being the stereotypical hero he was, Steve had comforted his friend and led him outside, stating that they would have to find some other source of help. However, on stepping outside the headquarters, the two found the streets entirely derelict. After wandering around for a few minutes, a zombie (for that was the only explanation they could find for what the creature was) leapt out from an alleyway, attaching itself to Bucky as they both desperately tried to fight it off. They did eventually, but that only led to more appearances from the creatures that they managed to defeat.

It was Steve that came up with the idea of evacuating the city of New York, since there was no-one to be seen, all the telephone lines were dead and public transport halted. The streets were a mess. Therefore, Steve fought his way to the S.H.I.E.L.D. garage, where his beloved motorbike was kept, and drove out of the state, Bucky riding with him.

They drove through Pennsylvania, the next state across, which was also completely abandoned. Everywhere was. Shattered glass and rubbish littered the streets, all the buildings utterly wrecked thanks to the zombie creatures that now populated the Earth. Steve decided to stop travelling after eight or so hours, as he couldn't think of a reason to carry on since they had no idea where they were heading, plus they required supplies, including something to eat; Captain America always had a big appetite. Furthermore, the duo ended up at Buck Creek in Springfield, Ohio, where they currently resided.

While Steve and Bucky were washing their faces in the river, another mass of zombies managed to creep up on them; despite their extremely slow speed, they were almost silent in approaching. Steve was the first to notice.

"Buck – on your right!" He alerted his friend to one of the creatures that appeared to be about to nibble on Bucky's (normal flesh) shoulder. The zombie's face soon collided with the trained assassin's metal fist as he whirled around with excellent reflexes. Steve himself continued whacking the things with his shield, knocking down multiple ones at a time when he did a sweep of the close proximity. Just as the last few zombies were getting their heads bashed in, a strange blue telephone box appeared out of thin air, emitting a whooshing sound as it landed. The front door of the contraption opened, and out came a man who seemed to be in his late 20s clad in a tweed suit, bow-tie, braces and a Georgian wig, complete with insects.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together gleefully as Bucky annihilated the final zombie with one blow. "Zombies! I love zombies, me. Pleasure to be around. That is until they start trying to eat you. Then things get a bit awkward, but never mind that! I'm blabbering again, aren't I? Need to stop doing that… Let me introduce myself!" The hyperactive man spoke in a prominent London accent and then beamed at Steve, who stared in confusion at him, and Bucky, who glared at him suspiciously, somewhat more hostile than his companion. Unperturbed, he hopped out of his bizarre blue box, his wig wobbling about all over the place and heartily shook the two men's hands. "I'm the Doctor, and this" – a young woman with flame-red hair wearing a casual long-sleeved t-shirt and miniskirt followed the man out of the box – "is Miss Amelia Pond."

"It's Amy, actually. Doctor, I keep telling you not to call me that!" The girl protested in a strong Scottish accent, clearly exasperated by her friends' behaviour. She spoke as if it was something she had repeated many times before. Finally, 'Amy' turned her attention towards the odd men in front of her, gazing seductively at Steve, who was still staring at the odd couple strangely, yet she still addressed the Doctor. "Why don't you stop being so rude and explain to these handsome men why we're here?"

"Yes, yes, of course. Good idea! That's Amy, alright – full of bright ideas." The Doctor smiled briefly at his companion before going on to explain their presence. It took a few minutes to fully describe the TARDIS and its facilities (Steve was naturally curious about the mechanics) after Steve and, eventually, after lots of persuading, Bucky, had been inside, and that they were there just because they travel in time and space for arbitrary yet entertaining – sometimes dangerous – adventures. He also had to explain why he was wearing the ridiculous wig, which was surprisingly the easiest thing; the duo had just been on a trip to Georgian England, and the Doctor couldn't resist the excessive outfits and accessories, since Amy was reluctant to wear it. Towards the back end of their conversation, more zombies began advancing from not-so-far away, therefore the Doctor popped back in his time machine for some helpful utensils and provisions to share. He poked his head around the door every now-and-then to comment on the items he was accumulating for the newfound allies.

"Frying pan, check. Handy weapon, that. A whisk… not sure about that." – He threw the whisk over his shoulder back into the TARDIS – "Aha! Green eggs and ham!"

"Sorry, what do we need those for?" Steve piped up, studying the frying pan, being the first one to pick it up. Bucky eyed it warily from a distance, still too anxious to be near new people, since his instincts instantly put everyone under the category 'threat.'

"Food, I acquired them from the planet Aractus. A lovely swan laid the eggs for me. That's why the saying 'Never turn your back on a swan' is popular there – if you do, they won't be nice! Lovely planet- Sorry, am I babbling again? Don't answer that. Well, that's it!" The Doctor went on, locking the TARDIS behind him as he finally emerged with his arms full of various whimsical objects. He had just dumped them on the ground when the first new zombie lashed out, appearing from behind the blue box. Amy screamed at the sight of the mutilated creature, hiding behind the Doctor, who held his arms out protectively. Bucky went into automatic fight mode while Steve prepared to throw his shield before the Doctor stopped him.

"HANG ON! Don't throw it yet, maybe we can talk to them… HEY! ZOMB!" Steve froze, yet remained in the position to resume battle at any given moment while the zombie slowly turned its ugly head towards the Doctor's disruptive voice. He continued addressing the creature. "Oh, you're actually listening, I didn't think that would work… Um… Want some meat? Well you're getting it!" Picking up some ham from the pile of provisions, the Doctor flung it in the zombie's face, but the creature stumbled on, regardless, the meat dropping limply to the ground.

"Seriously? That's the best idea you've got?" Amy asked rhetorically when she had regained her composure from the previous scare. "Here, let me try." Stepping in front of the Doctor, who attempted to prevent her from going any nearer to the zombie, Amy began yelling in its face while walking backwards in the opposite direction. The creature stupidly followed. When the Doctor, Steve and Bucky all stared at her like she'd gone insane, the redhead replied in a whisper: "I'll lead him away – you guys think of something to get rid of them all. And quickly; I can't do this for long!"

As the rest of the zombies drew near the unlikely trio, Steve restarted his general battle technique, holding most of them off. Bucky did the same for a while, until he noticed something sparkling in the river and wandered over to it, as if in a trance. Meanwhile, the Doctor desperately scavenged through the items on the ground, trying to find something that could help the Cap' while he thought of something more permanent. Finding nothing, he jumped back in the TARDIS, further rummaging through the clutter. Although Steve was usually more than okay with fighting off evil forces, he soon realised he would be overpowered by the zombies if no-one helped him soon. Looking around, he found himself alone, apart from Bucky, who was now crouched next to the river with his normal arm reaching into the water.

"Bucky! A little help over here would be much appreciated!" Steve shouted over to his friend in a slightly sarcastic tone, but Bucky didn't acknowledge him. Instead, he simply leaned over further and dug his hand deeper into the river. After another long moment of fear on Cap's behalf, impatience on Amy's behalf and desperation on the Doctor's behalf, Bucky dragged his arm out of the river carrying what appeared to be a medium-sized fish that was nervously flopping about, likely from not being in its natural habitat. The thing that had been glittering in the water seemed to be in the fish's mouth. A second later, all the zombies had gone. No rapid retreat, no magic poof. It was just that one moment, the zombies were there, the next, they had all vanished without a trace. It was as if nothing had ever happened. Amy came running over, the look on her face mirroring Steve's expression of utter bewilderment while the Doctor practically fell out of the TARDIS, more than curious as to what strange event had just occurred.

"What just happened?" Amy asked, voicing everyone's thoughts. "And why are you holding a fish?" Bucky remained immobile, the fish (which had now gone limp) still in his hands. The group of people, Steve, Amy and the Doctor gradually made their way over to the ex-assassin, who paid no heed to their actions. On closer inspection, the Doctor discovered that the unknown gleaming object in the fish's mouth was, in fact, a gold tooth.

"This is brilliant!" The Doctor exclaimed, jumping high in the air in joy and elation. "A fish with a gold tooth? That restores the world back to normal after a zombie apocalypse? Genius! I do apologise, but I'm going to have to take this to the TARDIS for research. Thank you so much, you've all been brilliant. Come along, Amy! We've got work to do." The Doctor eased the fish from Bucky's hands, briefly hugging Steve and Bucky, who was pretty much back to normal yet still as unresponsive as ever, and headed towards the TARDIS before Amy grabbed the back of his suit jacket, stopping him in his tracks.

"Erm, no, Doctor! We are not just leaving after that! I'm sorry, the Doctor has no manners sometimes…" The Scottish girl rolled her eyes at her companion.

"Ah, yes, sorry! You'll both want a lift back, won't you? Hop on in, it shouldn't take long-"

"A lift back to New York? But… What about the others? They'd all gone before we left." Steve interrupted, anxiously glancing at Bucky and desperately hoping that S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters would be back to normal too.

"Oh, it'll be fine! Really, this fish contains some powerful ancient magic; I'm ninety-nice per cent sure your friends will be back and New York will be as it was before all this crazy stuff happened. So, are you up for the lift? It'll feel a bit weird at first, but don't worry…" The Doctor reassured Steve and Bucky as they stepped into the blue box for the second time that day, preparing for their journey back home, closely followed by Amy, who allowed herself a secret smile. She loved her adventures with her raggedy Doctor. She was just slightly disappointed they couldn't travel with buff men like Steve all the time.

**THE END**


End file.
